I'm stuck in a world where comments, opinions, criticism and feelings are not worthy of attention. So, lets cheers to hell and live it like its suppose to be.











Dear Jay,

• This was mine and Pam's lunch. Well, we obviously didn't finish our share. I just ate the whole burger and got full. Pam and half her pasta and she was... bloated. So that was about it. Went to Mid after school at about 1 something - and i stil havent got my year book yet. - then we went for lunch. but only remembered to get the tickets after ordering. So. after a little walking, and all, we got the tickets. Took our lunch, talked and talked till... about 3.45pm? Went to MPH and kept looking at the watch. But it was still early for the movie. After looking at some cute stuff, I rembered about the movie, i think we were 15 minutes late then. soo. ran to the cinema. watched Time Traveller's Wife. - i really pity the wife. - to see her husband die (the father in law accidentally killed him while he was hunting.) anyways. it was really painful for her to see him die then see him for about a minute after 4 years of his death - he time travelled again- Anyways. THAT WAS ABOUT IT!
• I'm still blogging with my interact shirt on. I'm sooo lazy to take a bath. Anywayssss.

Well well.

• As you can see from the previous post, Choy came back to KL on Monday. So what we did was that we hung out with Mei Yan and Asthen yesterday night (had dinner) but we din't take many pictures. So that was that. And today we went to visit Pn Loo and everything. Reminiscing since dinner till after lunch today. Hmm. Well. There's nothing more to that but Asthen FFK us this morning. Ca Yung had a dental appointment - you know its weird that he has a twin but somehow it seems like they're not related. Its like they hardly talk!- Hmpms. OhOh. Choy used to sit beside me in standard 6. Grace used to sit in front of me, Ca Yung used to sit in front of Grace. And that was it. Mei Yan sat somewhere at the side. And Asthen.. I'm actually not so sure xD
• Anyways. That was about it. I'm going to school tomorrow. What bugger. I'm guessing it'll be fun. Since I dont actualy have to wear my school uniform.
• My mother isnt allowing me to go for IDC. Its not like i've been missing too little camps you know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (damn it!)
• Well. I guess thats about it. I'm like SOOO sleepy now. So i'm like.. going to sleep?! Nitey nite people! muaxxxxxxx. LOVESSSSS!!

I know its a little too late but good luck, form 5ers :) i know too many of you all to dedicate this one by one. Anyways. I think I'm done with this post. There's nothing much going on now. Just planning to go out everyday and finishing up all my story books so I can get new ones.Why cant the textbooks be as interesting as the story books? :( Anyways.I wanna read the Twilight saga again. People. I need my books back! :P Take your time la. I'm still reading : Lessons in Heartbreak :) Time to clean up my roommm!!! God. I want those glass cupboards. They look so niceeeee!!!


There's something wrong with me. Sometimes. I just hate people so much I wanna runaway. There are times when I just wanna lock myself in my room. My sanctuary. Where no one can harm me. Seems like even that is violated. Now, I want THAT. Its not that I haven't been thinking about it or anything. But you know what? I'll make sure I have it. Give me two years tops :) - I wish I was that enthusiastic about my studies xD






I guess the only thing left to do now is to enjoy life and move on. No point now, looking back and thinking of what could have or should have been.







Greats! I went out and din't buy a single piece of clothing. I'm getting the purple top! I so don't fucking give a fucking damn :)













there's just so much to say and feel. but all i wanna do is. lie on my bed. day dream and fall asleep :)


i dont know why but i love eminem xD i just love his songs. not that i'm being emotional or anything. but i think his songs really mean something and it'll be different everytime i re read the lyrics. :) - probably this applies to his song that im in love with. - beautiful. not sure about the rest. xD


this update is gonna be short cause i'm gonna sleep soon. i've gotta say this but. there's always something.. bugging me in the morning. today i was thinking about the mistakes i made during exams. then the birds just started chirping.. and they never stopped till i woke up at 8am. anyways. i got a koala bear today :) going to labuan on friday :) and i really wanna get a hair cut and eat indian food! :P anyways. greatest thing that happened. I got into editorial :) *smiles!!!* :) i'llupdate more tomorrow :) nightss. love youu! :P

EVERYONE's present to Farah

dont read this post if you cant take vulgar words.

• i hate exams.
• i'm currently not in the mood to camwhore.
• i need to sleep.
• and get something for saturday! - i still havent got an outfit. just shoes =.=
• GRRRRRR xD

that feeling of alcohol running in my bloodstream and all the late nights romancing with my books are just so enjoyable. that high, dizzy moment where everything appears to be sheer bliss. everything might feel right eventhough its so wrong. its like everything i'm thinking of. I enjoyed :) more to come. i wont lose myself. not now. when the time is right, i'll break free from these strings holding me together.



















I just realised something about myself today. I DONT have a favourite artiste. If you ask me, who is my idol and all, I'll blank out. I love the korean music industry. But I dont stalk them nor do I get all their latest songs. Its just when I'm bored, I'll try to find something new. The closest to LOVE would be Big Bang. Next to that would be Super Junior. I dont exactly have an english favourtie either. Cause everything that I have right now is.. something I listen to almost ALL THE TIME. Here's like my favourtie play list. Just names of artiste. All American Rejects, The Pierces, Lisa Loeb, Owl City, Sarah Maclachlan, Katy Perry, G Dragon, Colbie Callait, Taylor Swift.. there's a few more. But among these few, I dont have a LOVE. the best song so far is.. Vanilla Twilight and I Wanna (top 2) xD

Anyways. God. I feel like a bumm :) haha! well. tomorrow is the last day :) you know. I feel everything people do just reminds me more of you. Everytime I wanna forget that chapter of my life, everything comes back. Its never gonna go! I know. Thats life. Whoops. Its almost 3am. Think I'll read something informative before I go to sleep. Shut Up! Its the exam period! I hate this. I hope I dont get spects till the day I die.

You know. I think. Everyone is changing. But I know. Not all changes are meant to be like perfect. People change for the better but some just wants to make a huge round without realising. Anyways. I think EVERYONE is changing. Am I too? I dont know. But I dont exactly like them. Its making everything so cold. And its coming from every direction. Oh my eyes are bloodshot red. Think I should get going soon :) Its the caffein :( 2 cups of coffee and some tea. That was energizing :P


the bones has many fish :) in the fever for finals. Not a good thing. I'm starting to sneeze too much. And eat. I just had icing cake :) from ipoh :) my favourite cake shop :) got it everytime i went there when i was a kid :) now, i'm grown up. Friends. Party. And all. But beneath this lady. Is a real immature girl. All i wanna do. Is argue and make noise :) i argue about everything. Almost. Even when i dont know what i'm saying xD thats when i sound really ridiculous :) oh oh. I wore high heels today :) i feel tall. A head taller than my mummy :) oh oh . And i forgot. Happy belated 9th anniversary! :) 8 letters, 3 words. Say it and i'm yours (you wish!) :)






root of all problems : family (only the indirect ones)
they're useless (sometimes). all the do is make people feel obliged to : love them. help them when they're in need. spend time with them. sacrifice.

and you have to do all these even when you hate them to the gut, regardless of how (un)close you are to them just because of the word RELATIVE, even when EVERYONE knows they're not worth a second of your time

the worst part. its hard to say NO. why? cause they're FAMILY. they're RELATED =.=

i'm going to school tomorrow just for PJ and to pass up a book. WTF =.=

i hope what i'm doing now is worth it.


sleepy sleepie :)
okayh. Here goes. Red Hair, Red Eyes, Red Face, Red Skin. Red Lips and Red Roses :)
Me starting to crappie.
Blabber much. Me need me beautie sleepie.
Throw! Smash it! Crash! Burn! :) heheeeee. i'm on my throwingspree :)

You're like the sun in my life. You make me melt. then you take me away from everything that i have :)

1. Vanilla Twilight :) thank you Julian!
2. I dont effing care anymore :)
3. Yes, you can go to hell with you and your useless *toot*
4. I hate a bitch. Guess why! :) cause she's a bitch :)
5. Why do people pretend to be stupid?
6. I'm wasting time again.
7. This is the worst post EVER.
8. I'm starting to love Add Maths. HONESTLY! hahahhahahahhahahahh NOT FUNNY!
9. I feel like smasing my phone(s)
10. I thought YOU CARED! proves you're just like EVERYONE ELSE.
11. hmmmmm... lets seeee. I LOVE... school. NOT!!
12. I dreamt about zombies =.= tooooo much plants vs zombies.
13. I look fat in baju kurung xD
14. SOMETIMES, I WISH EVERYONE WOULD JUST SHUT UP.
    

I wonder what people think about me. This thought is a total waste of time, but seriously. I mean like. before this, i hardly said a word, but now that i CAN say something, i just say it out of pure random emotion, of wanting everyone to shut up. but do people think that, just because i CAN say it now, i do it, when before i couldnt do it, i dint give a damn but just join in the rest of the people making noise? get it?

YOU JUST MAKE ME FEEL LIKE CRYING.

okay. poeple!
i'm blogging again! =.=
oh, what joy.
hmm.


honestly, i dont have to mood to update my blog right now.
but the most recent things that happened. ISSSS..
that i went to Hana's house for RAYA! and it was.. good.
God i love the rendang her mum cooked :P
but i've gotta go. do my own stuffs now.
yes. i'm depressed. i've been a bumm
i hope i dont get the mood to come online till my exams are over
xD

wells, if there's anything interesting, i'll post it through my phone :)
i'll be invisible for the next whole month.
:) dont miss me too much :)
there are times, where i feel like throwing my phone against the wall.
SERIOUSLY.
but i'll never do that.
i even hate it when i fall asleep with the phone by my side and find it on the floor the next morning. GRR!

anyways. Byes, my sayangs :)
oh. if there's anything, get them from hana's and su ann's blog.
and AND AND AND.
i'm soooo sorry. for those people who i havent linked.
LOL! especially cynthia and jess xD
i'm sooo freaking lazy to link people. i'll like you guys when i've changed my layout kay :)

SOOORRRYYY !!!! :)

see ya'll around!


WELLL!!!! yesterday was a BLAST. let me tell you what happened :) starting from. YESTERDAY MORNING :)

• I got up at about 8.30am, played a round or two of plants vs zombies, then i got ready to go out :) -some effing few pimples popped out of NO WHERE! i mean NO WHERE! i was like OMFG! i really need to regulate my sleeping times before school starts.
• Grace came around 10am, picked Ten Son up from the train station and headed to Sunway Pyramind. - in the car, on the way, it was lotsa talking and catching up. then questions about the agenda of the day came up - What!? we're going to redbox? i thought we're just gonna go for movies or something.
• Never mind. We headed to starbucks, got Grace's friends and went to redbox :) LOTSA awkwardness around because I hardly knew anyone there. Had an ice breeaking session, eating, dancing, singing. I snuck out with Kah Yan, Esther, Amelia and Joey to go jalan jalan in pyramid and escape from the awkwardness. Got a present for Grace and Amelia on the way. And we saw Richmond. I mean I thought I was the only one who knows him there but apparently, he goes to the same church as Esther, Amelia and Joey. WOW. I know SMALL WORLD.
• Anyways. Went back. Saw Jeet. And somehow he got me singing. yes. WTF. I hate singing in crowds. Especially since I had that 'SOAR throat' that never recovered since last year. - yes, i remembered EVERYTHING clearly. Disneyland, sleepless night in the bus and hotel. Went bugging people with Mas and Sebastian in out Yukata :) - back to reality!
• The songs went from 50 Cents to Celine Dion, from the living to the dead. you know who I'm talking about. Oh and I got a 'birthday gift' got Grace and Leanne. It was more of a dare to finish up a bottle of gooey sour stuff. but somehow. Leanne said it was sweet xD
• Moved on to jalan jalan at about 3 something till about 7? Watched Gamer. I swore I'll never sit beside Aaron in the movies. How I wished I dint swear that out lout cause it was just Scary in the cinema xD wtvr. The movie was OKAY. the action and all were good I guess but it was just LOTSA shooting,slaying, killing and programming and all. THATS IT! =.=
• Went to camwhore at Asian Avenue and I had Takoyaki! WOOOTTSS! haha. One of my favourite things that I had in Japan besides Nato, Zaru Soba, Miso Soup. -I should stop talking about Japan :)
• Went to Leanne's house, her grandma took us to Grace's house then went for some dinner and talked the weirdest stuffs ever. I mean we're all 16 except for Ten Son who was the only 15 year old and the only guy. What do you think we talked about? xD
• Grace's mum sent me back home and thats about yesterday. Did LOTSA cathing up and meeting new friends. you know. I havent actually seen Grace in like 3 years! and i havent been to her house in like. 4 years! i really need to keep contact with my primary school friends :)
• Anways, came home. started texting - well, i was texting Ash the whole time I was there. Came online, talked to some friends, took my bath, continue chatting with my friends. I dint even get to play Plants vs Zombies okayh! went to sleep at about 12.30pm.
• NEXT MORNING (today) ; SOMEONE was knocking my door at the crack of dawn. I thought it was my maid. So i shouted la 'APA?!!?!' and NO ONE answered. The person just kept knocking in that EXTREMELY annoying way. I MEAN. it was long, continuous and it wasnt exactly that loud. I was like complaining. Mumbled some words but my MUM heard it from outside. it was HER knocking on my door. it was HER who dint answer me. and she almost killed me for what I said. anyways. she got me up to follow her out =.= - texted Ash. then looked at the clock. wtf. 8.48am =.= might as well go out for breakfast also la. since i cant go back to sleep anyways.
• I'll post the pictures LATER! :)

fusion of music? Sibling rivalry. He's worth killing :) skinned and fed to the vultures :) left to rot under the cruel weathers of the arctic. Haha. Fish. :) anyways people. Yes, i'm trashing my brother on my blog :) he's a useless arse. Good for nothing piece of meat :) see. I'm a good sister :) every brother is worth trashing, especially this one :) anyways. Shopping postponed. We've got guests today.. Grr. XD


i realised that my friends are really great. no matter whats :) they're even good at taking pictures. well. something about pictures. is that. anything and everything is photogenic? and everything just goes with her flow, kan? i mean. sometimes, the pictures just turns out funny when you try so hard. i guess since its a form of art, you just need to be creative and random :) effort is definitly needed if you're actually going to make it your career. but nevertheless, it must be something you enjoy :)

anyways. i somehow found myself listening to G-Dragon. so much for criticizing his gay looks. no offence. but last time, he really looks gay with his pony tail and weird choices of hats. sometimes, it looks like he's wearing a racoon. but now, i'm finding his blonde hair attractive eventhough it actually looks fake. and i know its been some tiime since he went solo and realeased the song 'heartbreaker' but i finally had the mood for his music :) and my music source is back on so i'm gonna mass download G-D. :)

i'm suffering from insomnia again :( which is bad cause i was hoping to get some sleep. tomorrow mummy is planning to go shopping :) i wanna find some dresses for the upcoming weddings parties and some shoes :) OH. and presents tooo.. somethingi should ALWAYS REMEMBER. (which i never do. and it sucks cause i really dont know what to give. sometimes, i even forget to give the presents and it just sits in my house.. and just sits and sits and collects dust.) which reminds me. i know its kinda like.. 3 hours and 10 mins late but happy birthday, WeiYang and my lil cousin all the way in Malacca :)

i was bored la just now, so i decided to text people, and Sue Jane is coming to KL tomorrow :) which is a good thing but i dont think i'll be able to see her cause she'll be in mid and i'll be in klcc. but i think i'll see her when i go back to ipoh. (man, i miss the times we had there. i mean since they can drive and all, we all go out to the park and do weird stuffs, go to the mall and celebrate chinese new year together! :) along with.. Joy and Ee King. Leroy and Xuan xu was busy this year so i dint see them but i still had fun and i miss it! :) and my other plan for this holidays is - going out with my babe! :) grr. its been months since i last saw Ash and he just made me realise how much i want grey eyes and starbucks with him - he's got blue and hazel eyes XD Julian is having fun despite his PMR coming up xD how i miss form 3. now its just Add Maths, Biology, Chemistry and Physics =.=

hmm. i wanna have streaks of honey blonde and/or hot pink on my hair after spm :P and a tattoo. grr. I'm dragging someone along with me :)

btw, people. sorry for like being so unresponsive on msn xD sometimes i just either dont feel like talking of i'm just doing something else. okayhs? :)

i think i've just spill out a few hours of thoughts out :)










lets start with a few complains of the day. here goes 1) i slept at 12 something last night and woke up at about 2 thinking it was time for school. then i went back to sleep at.. about.. 3! and woke up at.. 5.30. went back to sleep till 6.10, packed my bags, cleaned up and all. Thennn 2) i'm still living on coffee and i think i'm gonna die soon. 3) my maid was VERY nice today. she made me SALAD. then i broke that 'diet' and ate the cakes that were waiting for me in my room. on my table where i'm suppose to study =.= and i was just watching the biggest loser. they make me feel so useless, fat, lazy, like a piece of pork and like a potato couch! grrrrrrr..

Anywaysss.. SNM :) welcome back to the world! - where there's internet connection! - which is almost everything xD - cause. without it, you lose me xD - i so dont make sense and sound like a freaking bimbo. grrrr.


today just made me freakier. i never did my maths homework. like seriously. 3 years of not doing maths homework in secondary school. not including those times in primary school where i never got a single word or math equation my math teacher was teaching (excluding std 6) and like today, all of a sudden, i'm like some freaky maths person and i actually did most of my work =.= and like. i hate exercise books. dont expect me to pass them up on time. i prefer doing my stuffs on testpad :) so everything i need and want will always be in my file - now i've gotta bring two of them to school EVERYDAY. but whatever right? xD

OH! and my source of music is.. down.. i cant download anymore songs for now till i dont know when. but at least i've done downloading all the All American Reject's songs and Goo Goo Dolls :)
Listen to these few songs (to SNM) - Another heart calls (AAR) -Change your mind (AAR) - Sunshine (AAR) - Before its too late (GGD) - I'll be your crying shoulder (GGD) - Name (GGD) - Dawson's Creek's theme song (GGD) (there's another one by Lisa Loeb)

funny how i can seem to write my whole life's story out in my blog and keep a diary at the same time and still find things to talk to people about. hidden talent? xD

good morning, people! :)

i know, its not the right time to actually blog right now, but 1) i'm skipping school cause 2) me mummy woke up lateee and 3) i'm blogging now to prove that i woke up early with intentions of going to school. look at the bright side. i'll be missing a day of school where i'd need to wear a tie xD

love this picture <3>


something i realised about myself is that i'm such a narcissist. and that i'm so cooped up in my own world. so much so that the most visited webpage is blogspot. and i check my blog EVERYDAY.

and it somehow concerns me of what people think sometimes.
i mean sometimes people say its not important what people see you as, but what you see yourself as. but sometimes, like you're sitting in a restaurant. and people just come and go through the doors, obviously it catches attention. especially when the doors have bells. and when you look at the people going through it, you comment:
ew, look at the bad, you could rob a bank! ;
he's so darn girly ;
omg! look at her shoes! ;
look at his hair! its purple ;
OMG! how'd he know my favourite drink is green tea?! ; ( referring to a guy that had green hair which most probably used to be 'outstanding', 'striking', 'special'. which became the colour of my favourite tea - green tea. due to bad maintenance)

those things la. but those arent the only comments that people give. like to celebrities.
*please dont take this as an offence*
but people give comments like.
SHINee look like dogs with that har style. and JH was wearing that freaking dye shirt =.=" ;
Gah, she had her breasts done, wonder how she can look at what's ahead of her ;
omg. that dress look so stripper like! :) ;

okayhs. so the thing i was wondering was like, what do people say about me when i walk through those doors?
she doesnt have a good posture. so sloppy ;
she's so fat and she's wearing that. you can see her tummy bluge out;
her hair is so messy;
she shows off too much;
i wonder where's she working ; (yes, i got it from my mother's friend)

you know. i used to think. who the hell would wanna read this crap - my blog.
but surprisingly, there are people who read my blog and ask me questions personally. and like goldfish, he asks me to explain stuffs xD okayhs. well.. the ones that i know who reads my blog is; waywen, weijohn, hana, suann, sylvia, ashwin, vivianna, blueberry, and my darling SNM ( clown-ey) :) - <3>













what if the truth yesterday, became a lie today? Just think about it :)


my bundle of joy, i need you. I'm Not feeling too well.











i told a lie today.
just one to make me and everyone feel better :)
but the truth is, i'm aching.

its time for me to wake up.
wake up to everything around me.
what's been happening, what i missed, what most likely would happen.
its hard to wake up knowing that today is just another day to get through.
with nothing to look forward to.

yes, i'm just crapping :)
selfishness.
the memories of what happened the first time are coming back,
but now, it hits me with a bigger impact.

of all the 1200 songs i have,
nothing really suits my mood now.


someone needs to fuck themselves right now.
Effing stressed and there's nothing that can relieve it.
And i seem to not be doing a shit about it.
I'm finally going to sleep
Finally. Stupid eyebags that makes me look like i've been someone's punching bag. Fucking pimples that look like a piece of shit.
Officially depressed xD GEETHA!!!!!!!! :) i need a hangman.
And my bundle of joy.

















hmm. flash back?
thursday : i woke up at like 6.55 am? stared at the sky for about 10 mins. then stared in the mirror in my room for another 10 mins. then i went to the bathroom and stared in the mirror for the next 10 mins. got ready, went to the market. yes. lotsa things to see and buy actually xD
anyways, i baked a cake. yeah. not my thing but i was in central and i had a really random feeling of baking.

the cake turned out. not bad for a first time solo. just a bit dry, but i got good comments. guess i'll bake sometime soon :)

anyways. nothing much. just usual. watched gossip girls. and.. thats about it. !
hmm. well. the pictures of the cake isnt up yet. so i'll just take my time.


i dont know. guess i dont ever wanna know. hmm. i'll make sure i leave. i dont care where. but i will. i dont know what i'm thinking about much, just another random thought. about leaving :)


:)
Life is just full of secrets.
I should just try to actually lessen them. Its killing me inside out. Who's ready to see black insides? Gooey. Disgusting. Ugly. Naked. Totally. And i think its time i really hit my head on the wall. Probably i'll decide to hit my head a bit too hard, and you can see me next in my funeral. Thats my date to everyone. I know. I owe you.. Dates. Lots of them. So, claim it on the day i die. In my funeral. Its totally okay. You can write your love letters in my diary :)









you know what.
i actually forgot about what i wanted to blog about.
hmm. but i think it has something to do with yesterday.

something that made me happy: SMELLS.
-schanny and james punya spagetti.
-famous amos.
-scented candles. -vanilla
-my soap! -lavender
-everything that smelt like lavender and vanilla.

anyhows. hmm. you knw. if i had to say goodbye to leave this hell i'd say my time has served me well - sum 41, over my head- which is kinda true.

-trying to restrain myself from cursing :)









listening to hilary duff's album :)
Haven't had the feel of listening to it in so long. Haha.

Went out, bought a random pair of heels! From crocs. Lol! My mum's one was comfy so i thought i'd get one myself xD

The getaway
Beat of my heart
So yesterday.
Metamorphosis
Break my heart


history does repeat itself again.
Dont you just wish you could destroy it. And it'll never come back, then you'll never have to feel that pain again?

Wounds take time to heal.
But i seem to fall and hurt myself at that same spot. Time after time. Guess i never learn much, right? So even if it healed, it would leave a scar. A big ugly one to remind me of how stupid i can be.

Everyone makes the rules as they go. To keep themselves safe. Or maybe it just the feeling of being in control. Ever thought of what might happen if nothing goes according to plan?

I want my clown back. I dont care. Where shall i meet you? On the Bridge of Fate? Hmm. Ash, i'm ready to dig my grave beside yours. Before that, i need to dye my hair dirty blonde, get blue contacts and get baptized by a vampire. That way, i'll die pretty and have that eternal beauty. I'll be the center of envy :)

Can vampires drink alcohol?
How stupid would we look if we shared a pair of coloured contact lens? XD

Its over now, and i'm fine :)
Wait. Thats only half true.
The other half is in agony.

This is how much i love life :)
Even when life is being a total bitch :)


haha! I just found out that only 2 people from my class went to school on saturday! I wouldn't be in class even if i went anyhows. Still countdowning to tuesday :) then i'll get my dinasour back. Haha. I'm somehow getting bored of all my songs wei. Even with 1200 songs in my ipod and about 300 in my phone. This is so not working out. Something is really wrong. Hmm.

Ash should record one of his many songs he makes up when he's bored. He'll at least get 2 albums sold. Cause fai and i bought it. And the rest probably would've bought it because of the cover xD

I need a new story book! cant get one till my finals are over :( or maybe till spm is over :( i would have forgotten how to read by then xD

Still burning a little inside. But it was nothing compared to this morning. So I'm not going to complain about it.

I cant wait for next week! Holidays... Gah. I hope i'll be able to go out and all. Birthday parties, breakfast, catching up with friends and movies! :) haha. Thinking about it makes me happy. (wonder if mummy would scold me for going out too much or complain that i'm not studying enough. Which is half true. Or half a lie. )

:)


shobana! I was totally right about me getting sick and not being able to attend the concert! Only that by 4, i got a fever.

Pam and yew weng! Haha. I miss you guys but i cant go out with you all today :( pam, i know that i haven't really spent any time with you ever since you came back from london and i dint go to school on friday and saturday. Though i really wanted to :( we still owe yew weng lotsa things.. XD

I haven't visited you blog or texted you in a long time. Hmm. But thanks for the reminder this morning, ashwin assokan :) i laff you too :)

The scenes replay themselves in my mind everytime i close my eyes.


forgotten, stolen, burning, confused :)


happy birthday, Vivianna! :)
Love ya loads :)
I'll give you your present tomorrow, kay xD
Muaxx


my computer will be gone for the next i dont know how long. Means, no msn. Really tempted to exchange this phone with my mum. Cause it has the msn installed in it :) thank goodness there's still connection to the internet although on msn. But i'll live. Haha. Anyway. I think my ipod is kinda weird. Its being rebellious! Its not turning on! Gah. Time to call the mac people. Anyways. Today's kiwanis event was really fun, although i was really tired. I only had about 4 hours of sleep okay, and i had to walk around the whole place. Which isn't too big but if you're required to walk around it a few times, it is very tiring. Anyways, promoted a game called million dollar baby. With.. Alex. Ivan. And. Christian. I think that's his name. XD wont really bother explaining how the game really works.

Today, is happy day :) as if everyday isn't but. Today, its somehow really fun. XD although i'm feeling happy, i dont feel like camwhoring.

I wanna come home and sleep! I'm so tired. My complexion just got worse. hmm. I just wanna sleep. I tried taking a nap. But i think i woke up cause the weather was too hot! People, plant a tree a day! Seriously, it'll totally make a hell lot of difference!

Anyways, i'll be going out for a party now. Please hope its fun.

I love my darling phone.

• Blueberry Cheese Cake got first place.
• Moral Script got second place.
• where's my clown? :(
• i wonder why is this even happening to me. i dint do anything wrong! =.= karma?
• i'll make another resolution : get something nice :)
• GKG - you owe me! :P - actually, yes, i did miss you xD
• dont wanna think about this anymore. giving me a headache that would never go away..
• SNM, my clown-ey..
• i hope everything goes well :)
• hmm.. 2 occasions to look forward to. so.. 2 new dresses? xD -lavender is really getting into me-
• conclusion of today : mixed feelings : happy, confused?, but.. not bad. :P
• gah. what am i crapping?
• i sing the teletubbies theme song every morning now. =.=
• omg. i am CHILDISH!
• sorry, whore, bitch, slut. i'll do that 'post' tomorrow xD

i'll never fall for you, dont worry.





the dinasour became slower.





i've got a massive muscle pain.
and i would like to..
curse the person who stole my counter pain.









dreams do come true. Sometimes.
:)


happy birthday, choy soon. Sandra, and peng hooi :)

• i thought i could trust you. turns out, i was really wrong. well, anyways. thanks for being a pain in the arse.
• i miss SNM!!! omigahh.. i suddenly missed you! xD
• cheer got cancelled for idontknow what reason. but it was fun staying back again. how i hate it then and miss it now.
• i think i should stop it. thinking about it just kills me. knowing its something i'll never get.
• i'm regretting. i should have just went. that scene still replays in my mind. all the time.
• wondering how much it'll hurt to let go.
• i feel scared everytime i get close to you. is there a logical reason for that? thats not suppose to happen.
• i look weird.
• i never knew it. but she's pretty. but she always looks at her reflection and sees someone plain and boring staring back at her.
• i need a life.

xD

everything is BLUE!
my bag, lil bag for my phone, toe nails, room, sheets, files, purse :)






VIVI! i know you'll be reading this. lol. what's your new url? I cant believe this is a blog post. AND.... is everything okayh?


Cancer is the first sign in the Water Element grouping. Cancerian people have deep emotions and fathomless longings. Rather than take a risk and put all their energy into something that might fail, they prefer to wait and watch. When the time is ripe they dive in with great speed and efficiency. They are serious, caring, sensitive people with complex psyches.This is a sign that dislikes taking unneccessary risks. When the going gets tough, they are perfectly content to dig in and surround themselves with domestic comfort and security. A wounded Cancerian is not an easy person to deal with. Given the opportunity at the right time, people of this sign cope remarkably well with fame, fortune, and responsibility. Money and a sense of security play an important part in the Cancerian scheme of life.Though careful with money they are kind, generous and thoughtful.At their worse, Cancer children will be selfish, secretive and hold onto past hurts.
They have pretty severe mood swings. When down or depressed, they can become cruel. Like their symbol the crab, they will snap at you when anyone tries to threaten the shell they place around themselves when upset.
You can usually find a Cancer at home. They often have their own special spot or private room. They love to save everything. When they get older, they often will save scraps of paper with phone numbers on it


everyone seems to just see things the way they are.
:)

no. i'm not in love ( thats not a total lie)
yes. i do think about people.
i'm tired.
there's no extra literature classes till after literary night :)
i'm gonna be a nerd.
please dont mind me.
sorry babes, i still havent posted the vidoes.
firstly, cause i;m damn malas.
secondly, it takes forever to load it.
and aqilah.....
i havent seen you online yet :P








tired and frustrated.

• legs are pain = stood for one hour during chemistry (the whole class did). stood again for cheer practice. walked too much. ran in the field (i missed it)
• tired = sleeping past 12 past few days.
• i'm not performing for install anymore :)
• i dont see the point of going to school anymore. if its not for bio, i would have skipped today and YESTERDAY....
• my english teacher is going to change, my malay teacher changed ( i dont think i'll like english as much as i used to)
• it feels like a thursday.. ( lets skip school!)

i dont know how long was this picture but i havent been in the mood to camwhore lately, so i'll just stick with this.

everytime i get a new mechanical pencil, i'll have this nostalgic feeling. (sounds really stupid) yeah. and i just got one yesterday. yes, i do colour coordinate my mechanical pencils but i dont know why yesterday's choice was black. i was choosing between a green (nice and thing but its not a shaker) and a black/white/(god forbid) pink. (shaker. fat. heavy. like the usuals) hahaa.. i took black. (white gets dirty easily. pink makes my pencilbox look out of order) anyways.

i got my FIRST mechanical pencil when i was in STANDARD 2. ( 8 years old. ) yes, i was very happy and proud of it :) as usual, when classmates see something nice, they wanna try to use it (and ask their parents to buy it) it got lost on the third day. everyone was borrowing it and i dont know where it went. (i think i cried) as usual, when i think of standard 2, bernard and emmanual comes into my mind. Bernard was like my super bestfriend and i dont know what happened to him. i called him about once or twice and i lost contact with him after that. and Emmanual, i dont know where on earth he is, the last i heard was that he migrated to Australia. I'm still keeping the watch he gave me, but Bernard left me nothing but memories. (God, i hope you're just somehow 'easy' to find on facebook)

back to reality: there's nothing i can do, yes. i WAS happy. but i think you got SICK of me. thinking of a heavy heart and a heavy head, i'm having... BOTH! i slept at dot-dot-dot AM, got about 4 1/2 hours of sleep. and i feel awake. I think waywen went off a bit later after me, and he slept throughout the day =.=

i was watching 553 just not (astro) (who cares if its national geographic.) it was about mega fishes. this guy was looking for gigantic fished which are GIGANTIC and at one point, it somehow sounded like we was having sex with the fish. i mean. the thing is 250 kilos. and it was barely breathing and that guy was turning the fish around while talking to the camera (omg. wasting so much time. the fish could have died!) and i was like. omg. freaking toot just let it go already. (i love fish :) ) and when he eventually let it go, the narrated the thing with this really sad tone that somehow could have meant 'IT DIED!' or 'someone's dying'.. yeah. he made my day down.

TIME IS PASSING REALLY SLOWLY TODAY

Flash back : yesterday, 20.06.09, IU day/carnival.

i got up at 6.30am to go to school. I dreaded it. carried tables and chairs and those stuff to the tent and had a small argument about the placing with someone. and since she insisted that she wanted the isolated place, i got the one near the center of everything and my stall earned 400 bucks. you rock, babes. but the process of earning it was something to die for. my fingers are hurting like shit right now. the skin is like peeling off and those things and i stayed back till 5 something so i helped to clean everything and transport the tables back. omfg. my muscles are aching like shit okayh. seriously! arms, thighs, near the neck, gah. and i feel so sleepy.

I was practically at the stall for like the whole darn day and i hardly got to play anything.At the stall, i was practically killing my muscles and making them bigger and those things by inflating those darn balloons and tying 300 ballons. thank gawd its just 300 okayh? we wanted to do 400! and we earned more than expected.like 4 times more. but after we closed our stall, we went to play somethings and got loads of tokens and i got like.. TIFFANY jewellery! WOOTTT! I'm an expensive girl, babe. but the thing is that i hardly enjoyed myself, i dint even get to take a decent picture with my friends. you people should go to hell for that. but the Tiffany jewellery totally made my day better.

Btw, when i saw we it meant : Emma, Aqilah, Atiqah Najwa, Pamela and Geetha and Praveena too. OH! Praveena, MY SKIRT! xD i forgot to take it back from you yesterday.

Anyways. that was about yesterday. and i am currently hating a few people. you should seriously go to hell. i mean you all think that you did so much work and all those shit. but what the heck? i'm sure i did so much more than you okayh, bitch. i was like helping this girl to set up her stall cause she dint know how to do it and it was like 11.50 which was 10 minutes before the carnival started. then i was running two stalls till one closed down cause the wind kept coming and the things just wouldnt stay. so we finally focused on one stall and it became a huge success. we better get a prize for that if not i'm gonna skin someone alive. seriously. you think you deserve it? mind you, you fucking cheated okayh? and you make me feel like some arse hole for the past few days and i dint say anything. everything was covered with a stupid fake smile. but everything i see you, all i know is that you're a fucking cheater and no matter what, i'm still better than you. even everyone can see that you dont deserve a single crap that you're getting. i'm sorry to say. YOU OFFICIALLY SUCK! and I HATE YOU.

i know my blog has been like shit for the past whole week. but sorry, i cant help it. if i dint say what i did, it'll be like 'deprived of social expressions' or something like that. i just came up with it. haha. oh, btw the band that played wasnt that bad la. but Pamela thought that the lead singer couldnt sing. but what the heck? i still think they're better than other bands okayh.

Are 4 paragraphs enough? :)
if i havent bored you, continue reading.

the last person i wanted to see was you. but somehow, poeple who looked like you keep popping infront of me. yeah. i couldnt believe it that i was staring at one of them and i suddenly snapped out of it when i thought if was weird enough. and the weirdest part is that. althought i've seen you a few times, your face keeps appearing somewhere. but after looking for a while, i know it wouldnt be you. and it shouldnt be you cause. the timing just doesnt make sense. Its been really weird, this week. yes. i was over thinking a lot of things. too many infact. which was a bad thing cause it totally ruined my mood and i snapped at Amani for a bit when we were talking about the tent placing and stuff. Sorry...

Its nothing special.Although she's pretty. you wouldnt realise it. She might think about you all the time and cry because she misses you, you wouldnt know it either. and she keeps getting confused when other people seem to notice her but you. All she wants, is your love.

*i'm talking about a girl in a book*

that should do it :)


i dint get what i needed. And all i needed was for you to tell me that its okay


god knows why i'm feeling so terrible these few days. Yes. People must die for that. Tomorrow is the iu day. Gah. Its going to be dreadful! Fuck it. Bite my tongue. And i officially hate the month of june cause everyone acts like some fucked up arse. Seriously. Everyone. Even people walking on the streets! Like every june since 3 effing years ago, my phone got stolen twice and got confiscated on the other year. This year, my mum's phone became a prostitute. Someone stole it and i'm borrowing my phone to her. So i'm only using my prepaid number. But whatever. I still get a phone and a number. Today, dahlah i'm already not in the mood, went for tuition then my teacher said no class cause one guy cant make it. She forgot to call me. I was totally fine with it. Then, gah. Continued reading my book. Its a true story about a girl who got abused and those shit. It was depressing okay. It made me cry at some points. Especially when i think about how cruel mothers can be. Then after something happened, i cried even worse. I wasn't even sure what i was crying for. It was either the book or the days of suppressed feelings. Thinking about it, its exactly what happened last year. Agony wei! I'm not going to describe anything. I'll just leave it till here.


june is seriously a bad month for me.


blasting sum 41's over my head on my ipod. Next : my chemical romance. After : good charlotte. Omg. I need more. Its a nice feeling :) yeah. Oh. Wait. Haru haru will be next xD


my blog has been depressing. I dont need anyone to tell me that. But
good news : i got chosen for cheer :)
random news : natasha just got a condom for her finger. (she says she's straight. Must be something more that she's not telling)
Bad news : my fingers hurt. They might as well just drop off.
Random thought : i might wanna try net ball or volley ball or some sort of ball game. Rebecca, teach me! :)


people, this saturday is assunta's iu day and carnival :) iu is from 10am till 12pm and the carnival is till 4pm :) come yeah :) and on july 4, we're having our install :) so come. :) and i'm most probably going to be performing :) okay? :)


stacie orrico - stuck
Avenged sevenfold - dear god
Shinee - romantic
A & T - something happened to my heart


These are like the songs that kinda describe my feelings now. Oh just finished watching the biggest loser but jillian isn't in the show. I'll support blue team because i like bob :) and i was watching chit chat of beautiful ladies. Omg. It was damn funny today's episode. the malaysian girl is back. And there's a new girl from columbia. Whee. Oh. Last week, leeteuk and shindong was on the show :)


i'm in a fruit paradise. There are mangosteens, pears, nangka, rambutans, strawberries, grapes, apples, kiwi and some weird fruits with lotsa seeds. Haha. Anyhows, dinner was great. I had like all the great food in the world. Kinda la. Like pork chop, bayam, curry chicken, sengkuang and lettuce. XD omg. I hate chinese shows that try to be more western. Especially the kissing part its just so darn fake okay? It makes them look stupid. Sorry for the random ness. I'm just watching tv. Gah. I need to do my chemistry. So distracted.


by the way people, i still haven't turned my computer for the past 2 days or so. Something like that. I'm so proud of myself! Omg. I sound like a weirdo.


if someone asked me to pull my bladder and weigh it, it'll be at least 2 kilos. Thats a lotta chicken.

Anyway, today during we did a histogram for maths today. And we were good people. We as in me and geetha. At about 12, when the bell was about to ring, geetha asked me something about graphs and the frequency shit. After explaining, that we dont have to draw a histogram cause the question dint ask for it, just draw the graph and we're done, geetha suddenly stopped and asked 'what is a histogram?' it was a really stupid question and it was suppose to be for me to ask. But somehow, she was just being funny today xD

Omg. I just saw a squirrel! :)
The weather is freaking hot, people. Save the environment! XD gah. I sound like some darn preacher.
This is something worth preaching. Come for assunta's iu day :) its a carnival :) its at 9 i think. Till 12 or something. Omg! Damn! I cant go for lunch with my family? Wow. Omg. It clashes! Die die die die die dead. Omg omg omg omg omg omg omfg. Thank god i'm blogging about it now. Gah.. Omg. Everything just has to be on the same day =.=


for me to ask you to always be here is too much. I'm fine the way things are. I'm still secretly hoping you're out there, reading this. Starting over again isn't as hard as it seems. Neither is it that easy. But i'm fine just missing you from time to time. You would never know anything and i'd like to keep it that way. Say, this was just on my mind. If you were waiting, and that something never comes, and you keep waiting, and when you know, for sure its never going to come, we're suppose to stop right? And carry on with life. But doesn't it just feel wrong? To put something that you want so much down? Omg. I'm really crapping. Hmm. I should stop thinking about it and getting to understand my physics. Omg. Its like some really complicated piece of shit dumped right in front of you and you're suppose to understand it just like that. Me and calculations never work out. Sorry, nerds :)


something that must be done a long time ago :) i'm going to it ready for school soon babes :)


i secretly hope you're reading this. Although there's a high probablity you wont be. But i've been thinking so much. And you really i guess in a way, made me realise how important it is. Maybe its just everyone around you. I dont know. I hope one you'll realise that ..... :)


is never too late right? Okay. I know its not. I'm going to be anti social for a while. Please dont mind me. I'll be back to normal soon. I think its too late. I'm sorry. I dont know what to do. Please tell me it isn't. I really wanna make things right again. I dont wanna lose it. I know i haven't been good. Santa can skip his visit this year. I dont mind. I just wanna know its not too late to start. Please. I was stupid. I did what i could. But i was still stupid. I ruined part of it. Its my fault. I take all the blame. Just make this right. Omg. I was stupid. Really stupid. I'm sorry


i think i got my appetite back :) whee. Hmm. My tummy is going to be fat again xD who cares? I get to eat :) i'm on the phone again. While watching tv :) this show is just weird. Oh. I had this butterscotch bread :) its good! Go try. Its totally worth 4 bucks :) btw, i got it from the petrol station :)


I'm like surfing the net on my phone. This is so cool! Yeah. I sound like a blonde. But whatever. Anyway. I was suppose to update something on yesterday but i forgot. Anyways. Yesterday / day before yesterday, i was really bored and i started throwing my tantrums till my brother said that i can go for a movie. And i tried booking like the earliest movies but it was all full. And mid valley was un-book-able. So i booked a movie for 4 at 11.45pm in ioi mall. Yeah. I haven't been there since i moved out from my old house. And somehow somehow, we ended going out with weixing, weiguang and weiyang. Omg. It was like 1/1/09 :) haha! Watched 17 again. I'm not a fan of Zac Efron. The movie was stupid but funny :) We went to mcd after the movie and just made lotsa noise there. Oh. Oh. And in the car, we all were singing to some songs. Omg. It was like those long road trips and every boring ones, and someone started singing something catchy and everyone just joins in. I swear all the cars were honking at us :) and it dint rain! :) and there was one part, like at the car park, i was racing with weixing and i won :) now he owes me starbucks, he's denying it and blaming his slippers for his loss :) whee! :) more free food/drinks :) omg. I feel so happy. Wait. I'm actually not very. I was so sleepy. And my dad woke me up at 9 am. Btw, 5 of us stayed up all friday night, getting our coke refilled, going to the next door mamak stall to use the toilet, playing cards (unfortunately, no money was involved) and chit chatting :) it would be the perfect way to spend my fridays every 2 weeks or so xD (its just a thought) hmm. I'm still into this phone. Its so cool! :) i wonder why i never did this before :/ anyways, i'll blog again later. I feel so lazy to on my computer now xD



1.How did you meet 7?(Ashwin Assokan)
Its a really long story. But we eventually met after about two years of talking to each other.

2.What would you do if you and 15 had never met?(SNM)
Omg. I dont know. Less one person to love and to talk to?

3.What would you do if 20 and 1 dated?( Ashwin Assokan and Munira)
Haha. I wouldnt do anything. They're already the best of friends but it'll be weird :P

4. Have you seen 17 cried?(Adrian Beh Jian Fung)
Yeapp. I always do the honours of passing him the tissue paper.

5. Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?( Ng Su Ann and Geetha Thiyagarajan )
Nope. dont think they really know each other.

6.Do you think 11 is attractive?(Ho Wei John)
He's just a good friend!

7. What is 2's favourite colour?(Blueberry Topping)
Blue? He hates my walls cause they're blue. So the only way to see it is that he's jealous of my lovely blue walls :)

8. When was the last time you talked to 9?(Tiara Jane Anchant)
Few days ago. Online.

9.What language does 8 speaks?(Cheryl Lai Kar Yean)
English :)

10.Who is 13 going out with?(Ho WeiXing)
dont know. He has mutiple girlfriends. hahahaa.a.. his brother saw some letter from a girl on his table :P

11.Would you ever date 17?(Adrian Beh Jian Fung)
Nope. Sorry, brother. I love ya. but nope.

12. Where does 18 live? (Kan Yew Weng)
Klang :)

13. What is the best thing about 4?(Ng Su Ann)
Everything.

14. What would you like to tell 10 right now ?(Chew Way Wen)
WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyywwwwwwwwwwennnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!! :)

15. What is the best thing about 20?(Munira)
You'll never feel down talking to her and she's loud :)

16. Have you ever kiss 2? (Blueberry Topping)
Nope....

17. What is the best memory you have of 5? (Sylvia Wong Shealeen)
My flyer for cheer and my friend since std 4. what's not to remember?

18. When's the next time you're going to see 1?(Ashwin Assokan)
I was suppose to see him today. Due to somethings... tak jadi. (its my fault. i know) i know you still love me anyhows!

19. How is 7 different from 6?( Vivianna Assokan and Hana Nazira)
Vivianna :
Chindian
Short hair
Louder
Shorter than me :)
13 years old.
Loves Korean.

Hana:
Malay
Loud
A lil bit shorter than me :)
16 years old.
Loves Korean

conclusion : They both are shorter than me. They both love Korean. They're both loud.

20. Is 2 pretty?(Blueberry Topping)
He's a guy. hmm. pretty. maybe XD

21. What was your 1st impression of 15? (SNM)
Friendly :) but it was akward at first? xD

22. How did you meet 3?( Pamela Choi Pui Yue)
Somehow we did. in school :)

23. Is 5 your best friend? (Sylvia Wong Shealeen)
Good friend :)

24. Do you hate 12?(Ho WeiGuang)
I wouldnt spend the whole night with him (and my brother and his brothers) and put his name there if i hated him, no? and i could've just killed him last night if i hated him :P

25. Have you seen 18 in the last month?(Kan Yew Weng)
Nope. not since Nazz came from Tawau.

26. When was the last time you saw 16?(Geetha Thiyagarajan)
Friday I guess. somewhere 2 weeks ago. or thursday. hurm. we were suppose to go to Sunway Lagoon. I totally forgot about it. but did you all go?

27. Have you been to 5's house?(Slyvia Wong Shealeen)
Nope but i know where it is :)

28. When's the next time you'll see 10?(Chew Way Wen)
Online. Anytime :)

29. Are you close to 11?(Ho Wei John)
Yupp...

30. Have you been to the movies with 4?(Ng Su Ann)
Yuppp :)

31. Have you gotten in trouble with 8(Cheryl Lai Kar Yean)
I think so. Maybe. We sat beside each other in form 3. whatever could happen :P

32. Would you give 19 a hug?(Sofeya)
YESS!! omg. yes. the banana loving person :) the one that gave our Zimbabwe our name. She'll probably kill me for not going for her IU. but she still loves me :)

33. When have you lied to 3? ( Pamela Choi Pui Yue )
On the trip to Japan, it proved how good we are to each other XD

34. Is 1 good at socializing?( Ashwin Assokan)
OMG! yes. you should see how he goes migling with anyone/everyone.

35. Do you know a secret about 8?( Cherly Lai Kar Yean)
I think i do :) am i suppose to tell it out? its a sercet after all.

36. Describe the relationship between 12 and 18(Ho WeiGuang and Kan Yew Wen)
They don't know each other

37. What's the best thing about your friendship with 9?(Tiara Jane Anchant)
She makes people happy/cranky/crappy-full.

p/s. I seriously dont know how i picked my friends okayh?

now a days, SHOES go RUFF RUFF!

YOU'RE NOT VERY INTERESTING BUT I AM INTERESTED.



I realised so many effing things were going on.
I guess my head is kinda cleared now.
I'm going to blog about my trip to malacca when i find the time and energy.
I'm currently into shopping. (but i realised i choose more clothes for my brother than myself. I'm such a loving sister. I know)
Maybe now i know how you feel about me doing it to you because someone is doing it to me now. So i decided. I'm turning it off and going to sleep (guess what this line means. I knew everyone would think sideways. keep guessing)
Maybe i shouldnt have any high hopes. Nothing good ever comes out of it.
Lets all move on with our lives and pretend nothing happened.
I realised half my holidays are gone and i've done nothing.. (kill me)
Stop talking like you know me and get on with your life cause you dont know a crap about me.


I'm inMalacca now and i did get some really weird random pictures.
anyways. first meal here is.. KFC!
god. i came all the way to malacca to eat cheesy potato wedges.
its just so weird.
Anyways.
hope to post up those random pictures soon.
there was one on spongebob. and stuff like that.
byessss people.
I'll miss you :)

I wish I could be so darn carefree. Thank Gawd my internet connection is up again. Took the guy long enough. Not coming online for a few days really made my typing worse. Honestly. I dont know what the fuck is going on with my life. Yeah. This year is so fucky ( i wanted to sat 'sucky' but I accidentally typed 'f' and I dont feel like deleting it) . I seriously dont know what's going on. Everything is just spinning and I'm just thrown into it and it spun so fast, I got swinged out. Get it? Firstly, I'm not a big fan of American Idol but Adam Lambert should have won. I was listening to Chris's 'remixed' version of One Republic's Apologise and I couldn't tell the difference from the original that One Republic sang. Guys with eyeliners are hot okay? Face it! They just are. Well, just like Chris's winning, everything went the wrong way. Almost everything. I'm going back to watching my Korean drama that I was suppose to finish a long time ago but got stalled thanks to TM.

Why cant you actually respect my decision and my opinion? Its not like I'm not trying and there you are condeming everything I do. Its not only me. You think I have a problem. You just dont realise what's yours and you seem to have some dissapointment or some sort in your life and you're taking it out on me. Why the fuck do I care? I cant stand you anymore. Those weren't just dreams. I plan to make it work and just watch me but cant you just listen and see what I wanna do before you say anything? Everything is just so messed up. Whatever you're doing is just like so one sided. I really dont know what to say to you anymore. Oh. Fuck off. You dont have any rights on what I want to do. You always think you're right. You always think you know what's best. But its all in your head. I thought I came back to reality. Have you? Why do I feel everything falling apart? I know I'm not good enough but why the fuck are you judging me?

I'm sorry for this depressing post. I'm fine.



Isnt it great that things usually turn out the way you want it to? Gah. I'm happy that she remembers everything that you did, who she really is, who she loved. EVERYTHING. And this really shows how much her guy loves her and hate you. So loathable. You can show off all you want and wear the finest things in the world but you'll never get to his heart. I'm glad it ended this way. Now you get to burn, babe! Gah. You rock so much for making me hate you.





I hate your loathsome face. I just fell like slapping you all the time. Your eyes are filled with jealousy and anger. Your mouth says nothing but lies. Your actions are nothing but a play in a movie. Yet, people are nice to you. Thinking that you are good just because you have an innocent face. You buy people's feelings. They dont care about you. All they want from you is your money and your fame. I dont get it. Why weren't you the one that got hit by the car? Why weren't you the one that lost your memory? Why take it out on that innocent girl who was just about to meet with happiness? People like you should be burnt in hell. Yeah. A gazillion degrees C. Then disect your brains out and experiment your diabolical plans. And feed the rest of your body to the strays. Even the hospitals wont accept your organs for donations cause it'll just poison people. Filled with cyanide on the surface of every cell in your body.
























Sat for Chemmyy exam. I failed.
Sat for Siviks exams. I failed.
Not officially but here is something about Siviks.
I dont even know why we study it but I think I finally got it.


I learnt that I am a drug addict.
I learnt that I was a sinner and should be charged guilty for 'pergaulan bebas'.


The symptoms of my drug addiction as said in the SIVIKS textbook.
Yeap. We have a use(less) textbook. Poor trees were chopped down for this. Blame this for being a cause of global warming.
- sentiasa letih. I'm always tired!
- kurang daya ingatan. You cant really expect me to remember things okayh? I always forget what I wanna say
- tubuh badan semakin susut. this is not right. I'm gaining weight la. So this symptom isnt true.
- tidak dapat mengawal diri. I watch TV too much. And I cant contro myself doing two things : Eating and Texting.
- mengabaikan kebersihan diri. This one is DEFINITLY untrue okayh?!


Conclusion : I'm a drug addict. But I'm a legal one.


and the only cure they have for this is.... COLD TURKEY.
I was thinking of killing a turkey on Christmas and freezing it to death and I'll take it out the next day to eat. RAW COLD TURKEY.


Lastly, Pergaulan Bebas.
I'm just going to write what they said okayh?


Pergaulan antara lelaki dan perempuan seharusnya bertujuan untuk memberi manfaat kepada dua pihak. Pergaulan yang melibatkan antara lelaki and perempuan haruslah diadakan di tempat yang TERBUKA dan bukannya di tempat tempat terperinci yang boleh mendatangkan syak wasangka orang lain.
Translation : Girls and guys can only be friends for BENEFITS. Yeah. Both the types of benefits. And I definitly sinned already XD


Pada masa sekarang menular pula penyakit perlakuan seks secara rambang.
Translation : There's a disease called Open Sex? or Simply Sex? or Rambang Sex? Everyone Sex? I thought the newest disease was meningitis.

Apabila bergaul kita seharusnya bergaul dengan dengan orang orang yang baik budi pekertinya dan yang mempunyai akhlak mulia.
So : You shouldnt be talking to me or any of my friends cause we are all corrupted people.

By the way, I dont study and I'm not a nerd.


I'm having chemistry exams in about 10 hours from now?
And I just finished spending 1 hour and 30 minutes watching the last epiode of Boys Over Flowers. Yeah my guilty pleasures. My second time watching it. Listened to the music. T - max - Paradise just ruins every romantic scene la. Imagine right, a guy proposing to a girl at the side of the beach. Its like an ideal situation. And once he finishes his sentence "Would you marry me...." and suddenly out of no where.. ' ALMOST PARADISE........' and its like REALLLYYY loud okayh? horrible song. Woobin Sunbae could have done a better choice in choosing the songs. I like / love Jihoo Sunbae's choice of music :D

Now, I'm blogging, sinning and feeling guilty for not reading Chemistry. Reading my mails, listening to Poker Face sent by SNM. Its a rock version but it sounds good. Now, I dont feel like studying. All someone needs to do now is offer me a bar of chocolates and I'm as good as not sitting for my Chemistry exam tomorrow.

I officially flunked Chemistry :)
But I'm still thinking of Jihoo Sunbae.

XoXo

























No matter how I look at it, something is still not right. OMFG. Exams are damn stupid okayh?
I dont even feel ready for this exam.
I dont feel the pressure and I dont think I'll be feeling anything for the next two weeks.
Today was just the start of it.
I was dumb. Yes. I forgot what Cik Yap said. (who ever remembers what she says?)
' Choose only one essay question and seperate your points into different paragraphs'
I had too much time and I thought that I had to write 2 essays. So I did.
Gah. This is really dumb. Everything seems so wrong everywhere. EVERYWHERE!!
I'm restraining myself from eating the 3 bars of chocolate in my room right now. my pimples are errupting!



i've tried. but i dint get it. i knew i wouldnt. so i'm not dissapointed. why the heck should i be? two people owe me a meal now :D















I <3> My Twin (:







Btw, when i was asked if i like my life right now, i just wanted you to know that i dont like it cause you're not here. :)


001. Real name: Beh E-Laine
002. Nickname(s): Laine.
003. Zodiac sign: Cancer!
005. Male or female:Female
006. Elementary: Tadika Yume
007. Middle School:SK Seri Mega :)
008. High School: Assunta :D
009. College School: Dont know yet.
010. Hair color: Dark brown but i highlighted it light brown 2 years back. so its still BROWN!
011. Long or short: Height?! Tall? compared to the person who tagged me. But SHORT when you compare me with the person's brother who tagged me.
012. Loud or Quiet: LOUD! Assuntarians and Cheerleaders are meant to be loud.
013. Sweats or Jeans: Jeans :D
014. Phone or Camera: PHONE!!!...
015. Health freak: Nopeee..
016. Drink or Smoke?: Drink :)
017. Do you have a crush on someone? Nobody but you, Jaejeong.
055. Waiting for: BOYS OVER FLOWERS episode 24. (omfg, JIHOO, JUNPYO, JIHOO's GAY FRIEND, A' ST 1, SS501.. they're effing HAWTTT)

FUTURE:
058. Want kids? Nah.. i'll adopt.
059. Want to get married? Maybe. Maybe Not.
060. Careers in mind? anything but a DOCTOR, ACCOUNTANT, LAWYER (sorry my friends who wanna be anything i stated there)

WHICH IS BETTER IN THE BOY/GIRL YOU LIKE ?
068. Lips or eyes? EYES!! (omg. i feel so accepted into the Koreans and Japanese people category. my eyes are like as small as theirs and its mix matched! like MAX!)
070. Shorter or taller? Taller :D
072. Romantic or spontaneous? Both.
073. Nice stomach or nice arms? Both
074. Sensitive or loud? Both?
075. Hook-up or relationship? Relationship. Dont want anything that cant last.
076. Trouble maker or hesitant? None.
(finally done with this topic)

HAVE YOU EVER
080. Lost glasses/contacts? Nopeeee..
081. Ran away from home? Had the thought but din't have confidence in doing so.
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense? Against my brother.. Yeah XD
083. Killed somebody? OMFG. NOOO!
084. Broken someone's heart? Yeshh.. I feel guiltyyy!
085. Been arrested ? By who exactly do you mean.
087. Cried when someone died? Yeahhh...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
089. Yourself? Yeah. But not now. (I'm depressed because of that)
090. Miracles? Yeahhh..
091. Love at first sight? Not really. Just sometimes.
092. Heaven? Sometimes.
093. Santa Claus? Nope.
094 Tooth Fairy? Nope. (my parents kept my tooth. and i never got any money back for that.)
095. Kiss on the first date? Nopeee.. Its hard to believe but i've never dated :)

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? No. Wait. Maybe yeah. ( i thought of SNM and Blueberry)
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? Right now.. NO!
099. Do you believe in God? Dont know. I think so....
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people? I'll tag the people but i wont post it as 100 Truths.

ILOVE YOU! (so i decided to tag you)
1...SuAnn
2...Hana
3...WayWen
4...Blueberry
5...Michelle Hor
6...Megan Chng
7...Lydia Wong
8...Sofeya
9...Johnn
10... Brigidta


oh oh!!

Ash and Vivi has this REALLY weird laugh.. where they go like BUAHHAHAHAHA!!
its like a trademark for the Ash-Vivi sibling relationship xD

Ash would probably hate me for writing this. cause when i told him that, he gave my that WTF stare.

i still love ya! :P


omgsh.. its going to be 11Pm. who cares? anyways.
ICC.. today.. was GREAT!
although our group dint make it, i had fun on stage and 7 mins dint seem so long after all.
then i was sitting with Ash, Amal, Mun, Fai and Sofeya! :D
then we wanted to go out la. but tak jadi. cause i dont know what came up. so i went with Cheryl to Mid Valley.
i had like 3 long tired hours dealing with public transport with like... 12 people!
(Cheryl, Natasha, Bernie, Megan, Michelle, Melissa, Lydia, Kaiyisha,Chris, George (i cant remember his chinese name!), (a guy), Richmond)
yeah. but it was fun after all.
it was like this.

• Walking from HGH Sentul Hall to the Putra (lrt station) (i'm not good with public transport) in the RAIN
• took the train to Masjid Jamek to transit
• Went to KL Central (that place brings back memories (27/11 and Interact Conference)
• Bought 10 tickets to go to Mid Valley. tried selling 2 cause we bought extra. and the ticket machine was damn sexist okayh. the whole thing took at least 2 tries and 3 girls to process one ticket but when Richmond did it in one try, everything came out. (WTF?!)
• went to the wrong platform for the KTM and we ended up in Angkasapuri. Thank God someone realised that we took the wrong train. and Chris took Melissa's guitar and started singing. ( stupid ass dravier train, left us in the rain, now we're stuck infront of Angkasapuri Lane.. the train has arrived.. OMG THE TRAIN ARRIVED!!)
• took the KTM back to KL Central. Chris and George forgot to get down. so they had to wait for the next KTM to come. XD and we wanted to take the right train to Mid Valley. but it was jam packed. only Cheryl and Natasha made it into the train.
• we got fed up and just took a cab.

* After all that ( 3 hours)*

WE FINALLY REACHED MID VALLEY!

conclusion :

1. Get driving license ASAP
2. Get someone reallllllllyyyy familiar to go on a train with me. or go in a really big group.
3. i hate public transport.
4. 14 March : A Day To Remember

when i went back, Ash suddenly told me that they went to A&W. cause Mun and Fai last minute thought he was more important.

its been a really hectic week and the next two wont be any better.

i've made too many mistakes and i dont know how to undo them. its been obvious that what i've been doing was wrong. why couldnt i see it?

something i've known and wanted for a long time after watching movies, dramas and going through some really depressing times but i dont think i can ever get it. that something could be right infront of me all along. and maybe i was too unsatisfied to realise it. hmm. something i feel like saying to you. i miss you very much. and i havent been talking to you much lately. lets catch up.

everyone seems to have their path set for them. what they're gonna do next, how they're gonna do it. but i havent got anything. no path. uncertain future. and the worse part is that i'm not good at anything. some people are just so lucky. hmm. i dont know where to start or when to end.






























this is the sound of honesty.
i'm giving you my heart.
and i'm asking you to take care of it.


i'm a big bumm bumm. i havent updated my blog. and i'm lazy.
i so totally forgot to post pictures and stuff..
gosh. school is just so annoying sometimes.


Tagged by Izzy.

DIRECTION: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a post with sixteen random things, habits or goals about you. At last, choose five people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them.

1. i'm a bigg bum! i havent done my biology homework.
2. i lovee visiting on CNY (i need more money)
3. i dont colour match my clothes nor am i a fashion freak. i just buy what is nice.
4. i wanna drive!
5. i talk to people older than me. most of the times.
6. i get annoyed when people sometimes question the obvious.
7. i love lil kids. OMG! - Jun Jia - Myra - Hana - Shun Ni - Ivy - lil miss sunshine ( just saw her picture the other day)
8. the connection sucks la.
9. i want a bed big enough for me, 3 pillows, 1 bolster , 2 blankies and my stuffed toys..
10. my goal / my latest obsession is to get high marks for koko.
11. my room is messy..
12. my friends are coming over soon.
13. someone in my house is PMS-ing.
14. i'm currently inlove with lil kids and koreans and cheer
15. i wanna grow taller. at least taller than Wei Keat. haha..
16. my hobby is texting. and coming online. -omgsh. i dont really like facebook. but wth. i already have an account there-

i would lovee to tag - Su Ann - Hana - Weiguang - Pamela - WayWen

its 1.46 am and i dont feel like sleeping. AT ALL!! my hair just looks horrible. i'm so pissed about it, i cant sleep. and i can even tie it the way i want it for Chinese New Year. that's so effing sad. i'm so effing pissed. seriously! who knew 2 inches made such a big difference!?!?! gawdd.. and its not that easy for me to take care of my hair everyday till it actually grows 2 inches long!!!!!!

i wanna scream at someone so loud, their ear drums would break.


schooling is killing..
omg. there's just so much homework to be done and so many things to be studied.
and the worse part is that i havent been using my brains for 2 whole months which makes me dumber and i forgot almost everything i learnt in form 1,2,3..
great. all the teachers are gonna screw me up.


people, save the ENVIRONMENT!!
today, i was just standing in the sun for a while and i felt my skin burning hot kayh.
even standing under the shade dint do much use!
kayh people?! plant more trees, go green, recycle. just save the environment!

that was something i really wanted to say...
owh. my tuitions today was....
ADD MATHS! (can i die yet?)
its confusing la.kayh kayh,, i'll get the hang of it later on.
and me, Cheryl and Alfred asked like sooo many questions weiyh.
i'm kinda suprised he dint get pissed and i'm hoping he doesnt :D

okayh. so after thinking for a long time, Sc 3 is not such a bad thing. getting top 10 would be kinda easy i guess. but i'll erase this entry if i dont get top 10 :P


omfg. life is just so unfair la. i mean THIS is unfair. my brother and Weiguang got like 5A's and 2B's for PMr and they went to 4 Clancy. now i'm getting 6A's and 1B for Pmr and i'm going to Sc 3. i'm so going to change to MBS and do some sex exchange or some sort.

but i kinda predicted la. so wth. i'll just leave it. its not that the students are bad or anything but the teachers today were like.. idontknowhowtosay. i'll let you know if you ask me privately. then i'll let you choose : English teacher? Class/add maths teacher? Siviks teacher? *pukes*
the best teacher so far is my Physics teacher.. xoxo

anyway. i guess thats about all so far. sooo far. i'll blog about something else later tonight if i have time. i've got 2 tuitions coming soon so i've gotta get going.





i totally forgot to update my blog. and here's some 'synopsis' of what happened on Saturday.

Saturday. 3/1/09.

• went out for breakfast with my mum and brother
• they dropped me at Mid to meet up with Melissa, Karis, Ju Li, Dionne, Richmond, Ryan and Wye Hong. - had fun and watched YESMAN
• waited for everyone to go back
• met up with my parents and went shopping ( i bought 4 pairs of bottoms! whee)
• went to eat.
• came back.
• oh. and i forgot to say my phone went out of battery.

Sunday. 4/1/09

• stayed at home the whole day!
• did spring cleaning for my room.
• watched tv
• played with my dogs.
• blogging now.
• chatting.
• listening to music

thats the end of my 2 days!!!!!!!!!!! tomorrow will be going back to school ..

random-ness is working out for me. i was talking to Weiguang and we randomly decided to go out for a movie. it was not bad. we're lucky to get tickets. haha! we watched Four Christmases.

owh. yesterday was great. i took some pictures but i havent uploaded them yet cause the connection sucks. but anyway, we had food, friends and games. we watched Bedtime Stories. :D

other than that....
i'm just trying to get over the fact that school is going to re-open in a few days.
i dont care how many days.


1. Do you think you're hot? - Sometimes.

2. Upload a favourite picture of you. - i have a few? cause i like to camwhore. haha

3. Why do you like this picture?- I dont know. i just took it yesterday. haha.

4. When was the last time you ate pizza?- somewhere last month

5. The last song you listened to.- Izayoi No Tsuki - W-inds

6. What are you doing right now besides this?- Chatting and listening to music.

7. What name do you prefer besides yours?- Bel.

8. People to tag.- Hana- Su Ann- WeiGuang-Way Wen - John- Emily

9. Who is no.1?- A great friend. haha. we crap with each other. and love each other unconditionally. haha.

10. No.3 is having relationship with?- i dont think so. i asked him and i think he said no. so no.

11. Say something about no.5.- haha. he's kinda emo.

12. How about no. 4?- a good friend. haha.

13. Who is no.2?- she is.. a shoppaholic. and i love her..too. haha

Name 20 people randomly. At the end of the survey, choose 5 people to do the survey. Don't read the questions but name the 20 people first...



01. Su Ann

02. Cheryl

03. Sylvia

04. Pamela

05. Gavin

06. Kayla

07. Ash

08.Hana

09. Kenny

10. John

11. Adrian

12. Wei Keat

13. Sofeya

14. Richie

15. WayWen

16. Nazz

17. Yew Weng

18. WeiGuang

19. WeiXing

20.Farah



1.How did you meet number 18?
he's my brother's good friend. met him during CNY 2008


2. What will happen if you have not met number 17?
no one would spend me for the outing in Pavillion and i wont be angry. hhaha


3. What if number 9 and 20 dated?
haha. fat hopes. they're worlds apart la.


4. What if number 5 and 10 dated?
erm. no.. that's just so wrong. he's family!

5. Describe number 1.
she tagged me. and she loves Dong Dong.

6. Do you think number 8 is attractive?
duh! she is! i love her soo much. ( she's my good friend )

7. Describe number 7.
ASH! hurm. korean mate. haha. he knows more about Koreans than me.

8. Do you know any family members of 12?
personally no. but i've chatted with one or two of them. and he tells me about them sometimes.

9. What languages do number 15 speak?
Portugese. English. Malay.

10. Who is number 9 hanging out with?
how am i suppose to know? he's all the way in

11. How old is number 16 this year?
16 =)

12. Who's number 2 favourite singer?

hurm? anything english? haha. we dont really talk about them. but i think the last time was Leona Lewis i think.

13. When is the last time you spoke to number 13?

last year? haha. somewhere last month.

14. Have you ever dated number 4?
nope. not planning to either.

15. Would you ever date number 19?
i doubt he even likes me. but dating my brother's friend's brother is weird.. so maybe no..

16. Is number 3 single?
yupp. unless she dint tell me she just got a boyfriend.

17. What is number 10 last name?
Ho.. OMG! Ho Wei John. Ho Wei Guang. Ho Wei Xing. OMG!!!

18. Would you be in a relationship with number 11?
no! hell no! he's my brother. and he's annoying.

19. What is the school of number 13?
Sri Aman.

20. Where does number 6 stay?
Damansara.

21. What is your favourite thing about number 5?
he's damn sweet! haha. he's my nephew la. but he was born at the wrong time. cause he's the same age as me.

22. Have you ever seen number 14 naked?
eeeewwww.. no! never thought about it and never will think of it. sorry Richie..

23. Choose 5 people to do the survey.
anyone on the list will do.










outing with Emily yesterday was great!
Richmond brought Karis and Cheryl along.
i met up with Emily and some of her friends.
i'm suppose to remember 1 of them , but i dont know / dont remember. haha
talked about almost anything we could think of.

but anyway, we had korean and japanese food there.
takoyaki was great. but the kimchi was.. :P
haha. but i knew most of the songs they played in the korean shop.
mirotic -DbSK
red sunset glow - Big Bang
Love story - Rain
crazy - Son Dalbi i dont spell her name right. haha

in short. i enjoyed my New Year's Eve till 12 am. and till the next day. even if it was just hanging out in McD till 6am. oh. i htink we refilled the Coke for about 20 times. and everyone tried to be 'kiam siap' so we bought a small Coke and got 3 smaller cups to share out.

• made my brother drive to town, parked near Sungei Wang
• walked to Pavillion.
• transit to Starbucks, Times Square, bought cards to 'chor dai dee' played there till 3am something.
• walked back to the car. drove to McD and lepak-ed there till 6am.

there was this lady looking at my brother in McD like he was suppose to know her. and they started staring at all of us. and we played 'chor dai dee' in McD. who looses had to drink Coke. Wei Xing has to drink 5 cups more i think. my brother has to drink 2 =D anyway. i've gotta go out at 3pm later.. i just need loads of Coffee and Coke for today.

so far, best new year. cause i wasnt stuck at home. thanks!! =D now i know who to call if i need a friend to teman me till morning =D

finally got my results. i predicted i will get a B for History. and thats what i got. other than that, nothing. haha. i left the result slip in the car. i just dont wanna think about it. yeah its good. and i missed that A cause of some stupid things in my mind. but people say PMR is just to stream you. haha. getting 6A's and 1B is already a good thing cause i'm a bumm and i never study.



i'm getting the feeling of being in a roler coaster now. 3 min till results come out. and i'm blogging.

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Christmas at KLCC was fun in a way. shopping and doing a lot of walking. (dead tired when i came back) anyway. i bought 5 tops. but i dint get the 2 black tops i really loved! and somehow, i dint buy anything black. ( what an accomplishment!)

bought favourite cookies from Marks & Spencer :D

dinner at Mdm. Kwan's. and had supper on the way back. bla bla bla. erm. went to neighbour's house after that for an impromtu gathering, cane back at about 1am i think, tried blogging but everything just came out wrong, so i went to sleep.

Way Wen quoted : You're like a Bonuslink card. Just waiting to accumulate the time and reasons to shop at will in the future.

btw, results are going to be out in about 4 days. so i hope (fat hopes!) to spend these 4 days too the max. and face the results when the time comes.

first time feeling that even though i might have done something i shouldn't have, it would be alright. OhMiGosshh. I totally forgot to tell Z that i went to KLCC yesterday. SORRY! i hope you're reading this. :P big head, i'm soo sorry!

Yoon Eun Hae is sexxy!!

today i went for a christmas party, it was not bad. meeting relatives and just eating. that was probably it. i dint have anything to complain about it. but there were just two girls there who somehow annoyed me. first is a girl who is tall. at least i think taller than me. she was walking back and fourth like 10 times like she had nothing better to do. and she had this so very bitchy attitude which was pretty annoying. then the second girl. nothing much but she just dressed like a hooker. haha. (dont people dress like this now a days) :P

i kinda hate fashion. especially those extra large belts on your waist. and those stupid flats that makes you look like an ah so going to the market. what a turn off. (but if fits some people really good, sorry to those loyal fashion followers dint mean to offend you)

i need a driver now. i need one to drive me around for the next one and a half years. yeah. till i get my driving lisence. which seems forever for me to be able to take.


i wonder why some people have to be so darn racist. it just bugs me so much.
gosh. i wish there was a religion called Free Thinker.
sign me up if you ever come across one,kayh?
kamsahamida.































If this program accidentaly screws up and destroys data on your pc,makes your monitor explode in your face, kills you,hacks into a nearby nuclear missile and targets your house, sucks you into the computer and play ping pong with you ( you as the ping pong ball) do you agree to do this?


i'm eating ice crem. i think i'll blog better while eating something sweet. oh. a few things that poped into my mind

• i dont have a boyfriend. (but its a compliment that you think i have one. thanks)
• i am only 16 in 2009.
• my mother says i'm gaining weight. (i dont wanna think about it)
• i get annoyed when people wake me up in the morning.
• i wanna go to Japan again. and London
• i feel stupid for not really doing something .
• i'm going insane. Ash and Pam knows it. so does Hana and Su Ann.
• i need to sleep.

no elaboration on those points.

i keep forgetting what i wanna blog about.

anyway.

my maid woke me up at idontknowwhattime cause she wanted to wash my blanket. (LOL) yes, i told her to do it. but not early in the morning. and i have two blankets. and she and to take both of them and leave me to freeze. so i just grabed something from the cupboard to cover me. (i was throwing tantrums already) *went back to sleep* then my dad woke me up at 9.30!! finally made it out of bed.and when i went out.. and i realise that i forgot to charge both my phone and ipod. but its okayh. lasted me till i came back.

anyway i was suppose to come online at 2. but the stupid jam lasted for 30 min. it was STUPID.

oh. i seriously have to change my phone! i wanted to use the internet browser to send a mail but i couldnt access it. how depressing.


1.. - Su Ann has a right to be jelous.
(cause i ate Hana's mum's food. cooking. haha)
2.. - I don't have a boyfriend.
(stop assuming! looks are decieving)
3.. - I forgot what i wanted to write.





i went out today after a very long time with primary school friends. well. there was only the 3 of us la. Me, Sylvia and Mei Yan. somehow, where closely connected. anyway. we went to mid valley. then walked aimlessly around from mid valley to the gardens. had starbucks and i met Amani and Natasha there. then we went to watch the space chimpanzies. LOL!! i loveee the Kilowalawalahaha whatever her name is.. she'ssss ssoooo cute.

so i found 7 movies that i wanna watch. but i dont know when to watch them.
Twilight (i'm going to watch with Kenny)
Wild Child. (most probably going to watch with Pamela and the Zimbabwe-ians)
Bolt. ( Syl said it was a nice show)
the day the earth stood still.
Yes Man
some snogging something. dont know what the title was. and something about doggies.

anyway. while waiting for Mei Yan's dad to come take us, we sat down andstarted commenting on people. XD
we tried giving them compliments. haha. there was a guy which had small eyes. we think he's from korea. and a lady who was verry tall..she had loong legs and she was wearing high heals. =.= and another guy had a okayh body. but his legs were SMALL!!! seriously.
that was about it.

p.s:we dint camwhore.


i havent heard you voice for a long time. nor have i seen you face in a long time. but its good that you're back..it sounds nice.



-kamenashi kazuya
-akanishi jin


heyh heyh.
quite a few things have been happening lately. mostly happy ones. but 1 or 2 sad ones. never mind. lets leave the screwing for next year. and just enjoy of what's left of the holidays. there are actually very lil days left for dec.. i mean its going to pass soo verryy fast. so..humph..


ever thought about things that you SHOULD NOT do. but still do?
like falling for somone totally outta your league. or liking someone you know that would hurt you sooner or later? or thinking about something that should not be in your mind at all? means the same thing. but loving someone is totally out of your control. so dont blame yourself. and avoiding him/her is only going to kill yourself because you'll start thinking, worrying and missing him/her. every thought would be spent on him/her and nothing else. so cherish every minute together before its gone. and you'll start thinking about things that should have been done together. and regret that you dint say what you meant directly.








thanks Ash. i'm inlove with Samsung Omnia now. Yunho is hot and he can dance la weyh! but i still love Jae.





everytime i get excited about something, i just somehow miss the details. after that, i'll be really pissed cause i dint see the details properly. its just soo annoying.
i feel like going out. and sleeping. and eating. i'm turning into a pig/potato. i slept at 2 am last night and my target was to wake up at least by 1pm! but i was thinking about something too much, i ended waking up at 6.30am. stayed up till 8am then i went to sleep till 11.30.
and i still feel like sleeping. shit. i think i'm getting sick. just a few days left for 2008 to end. not that i want it to. i got so used saying that i'm 15 and next year i'm going to be 16.. sweet 16. seems so..BIG! and Pamela will only be 15! in form 4. i dont feel like facing next year. it just seems so different and so...BIG. i think thats the only word i can use for 2009. BIG







i was talking to Pamela about some stuff then i started to compare myself with Twilight. ( the book. not the dumb movie) and both of us thought. that in our lives. there are more Jacob Black(s) then Edward Cullen(s). but there is noo way i'm going to compare myself to Bella Swan. she's too.. PERFECT. nothing like me much. more like.. i'm nothing like her. but i think i am better in sports then her in her human form la. thats about it.